Saturday, October 6, 2007

Ups And Downs

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Bellrope Meadow ~ Stanley Spencer

I thought I had better do a journal update.  Several people had shown concern in comments under my previous entry (thank you for that, my friends).

The truth is for the last ten to twelve days or so I have been laid up with bad sciatica.  So bad that I could hardly put my foot to the floor.  So I have been in bed as there was nothing else I could do.  Rest, painkillers, warmth.  It is slowly getting better although it is still not right and even sitting here is quite painful.

This meant I was unable to keep my appointment at the Breast Clinic that was due on the 1st.  There was no way I could even walk to the car, in fact I could not bear a shoe on my foot, let alone do the journey.  The Clinic was very understanding and have given me a new appointment for the end of the month.  However, it made me extremely depressed having to cancel. Although I was very nervous about my appointment - being the first time back since my treatment  - I had gone through having it hanging over my head for months and I truly wanted to get it out of the way and be able to relax.  Now I have it hanging over my head once again.  I think I have shed more tears in the last few days than I have ever shed in my life and felt so low that I have not even been able to read or listen to music or the radio.  I had pinned my hopes on keeping that appointment but the fates had other plans.

You will understand why I have not been updating my journal, it has been impossible.  Mike did read my e-mails for me and I was so saddened to hear of the loss of our journal friend Penny.  God rest her.

I also lost my Aunt a few days ago.  She was a grand old lady, over 100 years old but she was the very last of the older generation, the last link with my parents and other family members.  Her passing brought back many memories to me and quite a few tears. Her husband, my Dad's brother, was the closest to my Dad and we visited countless times and they came to us.  We stayed overnight on a few occasions.  All those recollections came flooding back. Aunt Doris seemed indestructible.  She had lived through the death of her own daughter and became carer to her Grand-daughter who has kidney disease and will need a transplant. She stayed strong almost until the end.

Something more positive.  Daniel's tests came back negative.  It was not what they feared he might have which is wonderful news.  However, on the down side of that is the news that he must face more surgery as that is now the only course of action to cure what he has.  We are waiting for a date at the moment but that could be delayed due to the postal strike.

I know that you will continue to pray for Daniel.  He could be having his surgery locally or he could be referred to a London hospital but, one way or another, he still has to go through this.  I also ask for prayers for myself.  There is nothing as wearing as pain and to be in pain and to be depressed is something I would not wish on anyone.

On a much lighter note, Mike and Dean are at present in the throes of installing our new bathroom suite.  The old toilet and wash basin have already been removed with great difficulty due to corrosion.  Until the new toilet is installed, sanitary arrangements have become primitive, it is back to the old buckets (sorry if this is too much information).  We take our plumbing and our little rooms for granted but how we miss them when they are not there.

Mike painted the tiles and they came up well.  Now the toilet and wash basin have gone, the next thing is to lay the new floor before installing the new suite.  It will not be finished today except for the toilet which we are hoping will be.

Well, my friends I just cannot sit here any longer.  Please understand that I will be updating my journal when I can, I have a lot going on in my life right now.  My own priority is to try and get my back right, feel much better in myself . Also that all goes well and quickly for Daniel.   There are times when journalling  just has to take a back seat.  I cannot comment on other journals at this time either, my back will just not let me sit here long enough.  Although I am starting to get mobile again, I can only do little at a time like just doing small walks around the home.  I simply cannot sit in one place for any length of time.

I have been touched though by those that have shown concern especially one lady who said she had never commented on a journal before but was wondering if everything was o.k. with me.  It is nice to know that there are people who care.

With that, I will wish you a happy weekend.  As I asked previously, please hold myself and Daniel in your prayers.  I am hoping that by November I will have kept my appointment,  Daniel's surgery will be over and done with  and he will make a rapid recovery.  We are in God's hands.  Please also pray that my depression lifts.  I will get back to updating my journal more regularly and commenting on yours when things improve.  People have also asked to see the new bathroom so later on I will post pictures of that.

God bless you all.

Love,

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48 comments:

Anonymous said...

Praying for little Daniel and you also!  Hope you get your toilet fixed soon!  Linda

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been in so much pain with the sciatica, Jeannette. It's a shame you had to postpone on the appointment, but such is life, as you say. I'm pleased for young Daniel, although it's disappointing he may require further surgery. However, if that's what's needed, then that's what's gotta happen. You're in my thoughts, as always.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your sciatica, I know its one of the most painful conditions I have ever suffered from. Glad your bathroom is nearly done and the bucket will become a thing of the past! Thinking of Daniel  Louise xx

Anonymous said...

You don't know how glad I am to hear from you as I have been really worried.  I understand why you haven't been positing, but with so much going on in your and Daniel's life at the moment, it made be very uneasy.  Sorry if this is putting you under pressure - I don't mean it to.  I am really glad that Daniel has had negative results back from the hospital and I hope he quickly has a date for his surgery and that it is soon in the past and over and done with and then everyone can look to the future. Sorry to hear about your sciatica - I don't suffer from it but my dad used to and I know just how painful it can be.  You, Daniel and your family are in my prayers and I hope your sciata and depression soon lift.  Take care and good luck with the bathroom..............Heath Robinson springs to mind in respect of your toilet facilities.  Hehehehehe Eileenx

Anonymous said...

So pleased to hear from you Jeannette. . .but so sorry you had to miss your appointment.I know how much you were dreading it but it will all work out fine Im sure.Storms never last as they say.Thinking. . .and praying for you and little Daniel.Sorry about your dear Auntie too. . .may she rest in peace.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jeannette,

I was wondering what was wrong with you.   Sciatica is a deadful painful condition.
It doesn't let up at its worst.  I'm sorry you are suffering.
The depression hopefully will lift my dear friend.  It can be one of the side effects of the anti-cancer pill they have put you on.  Ask about that when you do make your appointment this time.
I can get these fluctuations with mine and its a fight to stay on top some days.  I take Femara instead of the Arimadex. My cancer was oestrogen causing so the pills they give me gets rid of the oestrogen in my body.  Oestrogen is also the hormone that makes women look and feel good about themselves.
Sometimes, we feel, we can't win...eh?  Understanding what goes on in our bodies and what causes some symptoms goes a long way to helping ourselves.
I wish you a speedy recovery and hope the time flies 'til your appointment.  Little Daniel is in my prayers.  Bless him!
God Bless

Jeanie xx

Anonymous said...

I really do sympathise over the sciatica, Jeannette, I suffered from it in my early twenties, so I know how disabling it is, you did well to sit at your computer long enough to give us this update!
So sorry to hear about the depression, I do hope that lifts very soon and good luck with the bathroom, look forward to seeing the results.
All my very best wishes go to Daniel, it must be a very worrying time for all concerned.
All the best
Freda

Anonymous said...

Hi, Jeannette.  I am so sorry you are having to go through so much right now.  I'm praying for you and Daniel.  God bless you.  Linda  

Anonymous said...

I have wondering why you haven`t been around lately Jeannette and am sorry to hear that you`ve been in so much pain. I`m glad Daniel`s tests were negative but it seems so unfair that he should have to face more surgery, bless him. Of course prayers will be said for you both. You are so right that we take so much for granted, how would we all cope without all our mod cons?  O`m sorry to hear that you have lost your dear Aunt, my condolences to you all.  Take care my dear friend.

Love Sandra xxxx

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your back, take care of yourself. {{{}}}
My condolences re your Aunt. Prayers for the family.
Happy  Daniels's tests are neg. :) Will keep him in prayer.
Have a nice weekend. Know I have you & family in my prayers.
God bless,
Sugar

ps  have not bothered you, but have been asking about you through a mutual friend who keeps in touch.

Anonymous said...

I do sympathise with the sciatica, Jeannette.  I had it last year, and o'ded with strong ibuprofen,(it was over a Bank Holiday), with disastrous results.  I had an internal bleed, and had to go to hospital for a blood transfusion.
What a relief to know that Daniel's results are negative.
No wonder you feel depressed.  It's a very natural reaction, after psyching yourself up for the cancer clinic.  Keep quiet and warm, and all will be well.
Bunny xx

Anonymous said...

(((((((((Jeannette)))))))))) So happy to see you up and about some. I have you in prayers always and lil Daniel also. I hope the bathroom is done soon so things can get back to normal for you. You take care my friend and rest up.
Love you,
Cindy xoxo

Anonymous said...

Jeannette it is nice to see you!  I've been thinking about you and Daniel.. you know I am sending good thoughts and prayers....  hugs my friend
d

Anonymous said...

Condolences on your aunt Doris. May she rest in peace. My prayers are with her daughter, with Daniel and with you. I pray that you will all be better soon. Hope Mike soon gets the bathrrom where it can be used. Hugs, Helen

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you are not well, and poor Daniel, sorry to hear he has to have another operation.
Hope your bathroom is finished soon, waiting to see pictures.
Get some rest Jeanette.
Keeping you and Daniel in my prayers.
Love to you
Carol and Adam xxx

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear you are having more medical problems, hope it improves very soon.  It is always sad to loose someone who we felt would be here forever, I feel sad for you about your aunt.  Good news about Daniel's test, but to bad he has to have more surgery, but little ones are tougher than we think they are.  Take care of yourself and enjoy that new bathroom when it's done.  Look forward to reading those great stories in your entries, when you feel better again.  Joni

Anonymous said...

Gentle hugs to you and special thoughts for Daniel.....
Linda :)

Anonymous said...

Will keep your family in my prayers.  Feel better soon!  ~~Kath~~

Anonymous said...

Jeanette, you've had so much on your plate recently dear, so sorry you are having such pain, know you wanted to get your breast check appointment in hang in there dear, sure when you go you'll get good news.  Sorry you lost your Aunt, no matter the age, it's sad when you lose a loved one who has been a special part of your life. Glad Daniels tests came back negative, sorry he'll need future surgery, but sure he'll do well. You and Daniel are in my prayers dear.  Take care. Hugs, Arlene

Anonymous said...

Oh Jeannette, I'm so sorry to hear you're having back problems.  We'd make a good pair right now, I'm hobbling around after breaking a toe the other day...which is also bothering my back as I favor my left foot.  Not fun !  I'm also sorry to hear that Danile has to have surgery.  Hopefully the doctors will get his problem all squared away and he'll be back to 100% soon.  What a bummer having to re-schedule your appointment.  You get yourself all psyched up and then something else comes along to change your plans.  I can't wait to see your new bathroom. I have one bathroom that needs some work, everything functions but I would just like a new toilet. It's very low and I'd like to get a higher one in there.  I'll keep you and Danile on my prayer list.   Linda in Washington state  

Anonymous said...

I cant think which is worse,scatica ,in your back ,or the awful depression,both of which I know all about ,and as you say the thought of your appointment at the breast cancer clinic , and then the worry of deasr little Daniel,you most certainly have your plate full at the moment ,not helped of course by the death of your dear Aunty ,and yes of course Iwill continue to pray for Daniel and you ,With love Jan xxx

Anonymous said...

I sure hope your pain goes away real soon.
Missie

Anonymous said...

Get well soon luv bella x

Anonymous said...

So glad to see you back.  I am sorry that you  are feeling so down. However you have had an awful lot to put up with these last few months so it isn't really surprising that it catches up with you some time.  Just take this time to really relax and thank God for the opportunity to do just that. Sometimes if we don't sit back he sends something to MAKE us sit back !!  Much Love and prayers as always  Sybil xxx

Anonymous said...

I hate to hear things have been so rough for you lately.  Thankful Daniel had a good test result.  Keeping you both in my prayers.  -  Barbara

Anonymous said...

(((Jeannette))) oh, I do know the pain of sciatica, wishing you a quick recovery. I never know what sets mine off either. Heck of a thing getting older. I'm keeping your whole family in my prayers, especially the little one...you rest, feel better we will be here when you come back...love, Sandi

Anonymous said...

((((((((((((((((JEANNETTE))))))))))))))))))))Its good to hea from you,I am sorry you have been in so much pain.You are always in my thougths and prayers.I am sorry about the passing in your family.God bless you.

Anonymous said...

I know all about sciatica Jeannette, I had it for seven years non-stop. I was off work all that time and was so depressed with it. I'm praying yours will get better with rest. I'm sorry you missed the appointment, I'll be thinking of you when the new one is due, praying it will go well. Also praying that Daniel will be healed with surgery, he's such a brave little boy. Sorry to hear your aunt died, and poor Penny too. Jeannette xx  

Anonymous said...

(((Big hugs to you and little Daniel)))
Love, Cassie

Anonymous said...

GOD BLESS YOU AND HEAL YOU. I HOPE YOUR BACK GETS BETTER SOON...AND THAT DANIEL'S SURGERY TURNS OUT GOOD.
LOVE YA,
CARLENE

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear, Jeannette!  There is nearly nothing worse than a sciatica problem.  My own mother is dealing with this and has been in pain for a long time.  I will certainly be praying for you and I hope you are much better VERY soon.

While I am very sad that little Daniel must have another surgery, I am glad it is not the serious condition you were worried about.  Bless his little heart.  I will continue to pray for him, too.

Take care and rest.  It's the best thing you can do for sciatica.
Hugs, Kathy

Anonymous said...

aww You and Daniel is in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

It's sooooo GOOD to hear from you Jeannette! I was getting ready to call out the calvary to see what had happened to you LOL!
Sorry your having such a rough time physically. That's no fun at all. So just relax, and enjoy those two wonderful grandbabies that you have. Just watching them play is a joy I'm sure.
Hope you get your bathroom suite done soon. It throws off the whole routine of the house when that is going on. I know how hard it can be for the family members. But, in the end, you'll have a beautiful bathroom suite that I will be so envious of <smile>.
I'm glad you are doing ok. Not to worry about missing your appointment. Don't fret about it. You'll get there.
It's good to hear from you. I was beginning to wonder.
Love ya,
Pam xoxox

Anonymous said...

Hello my dear Jeannette,

I am sorry to hear that your not feeling well. I was wondering about you and wondering if you were alright. I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. I too was saddened to hear about Penny I had been visiting her journal and getting to know her. Its sad to hear that she isn't with us anymore. I'm glad to hear about Daniel's tests. Do take care of yourself my dear friend.

Monae

Anonymous said...

I sure hope that you get to feeling better Jeannette.
Lisa

Anonymous said...

Hello Jeannette,

It was good to read your post even if the news wasn't all good. I'm so glad that Daniel's results came back negative, it must have been an awful worry for you all.  I wish you better and look forward to seeing photos of your new bathroom - without the bucket...that brought back memories too! The first house I lived in when I got married had an outside toilet and when I gave birth to my daughter at home I had to have a bucket on the landing, so been there, done that!  Love to you all, Pat    http://journals.aol.co.uk/pm71blackfen/ramblings-from-pat/

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you haven't been well Jeannette and had to miss your appointment at the breast clinic ,which I know you would be glad to see the back of ,with good positive news .I will still pray for you and Daniel for both of you to be returned to full health .Sorry about you losing your dear Aunty,she sounded  a tower of strength.Hope the bathroom is coming along nicely ,we too are decorating, our sitting room ..........Love and hugs ....Jeanxx

Anonymous said...

Dear One, I am praying for you and your little Daniel.  I'm glad you have had some good news among the bad.  Thank you for updating us as we all become family that cares and when we don't hear we do begin to wonder.  I've tended to believe that no news is good news, but of course that is not always the case.  We are all in God's hands and believing that, we trust His ways which are not ours in any case.  Hugs, love and many prayers. 'On Ya' - ma

Anonymous said...

my fingers are firmly crossed for the both of you, will be thinking of you and hope little leo is ok.I have a leo of my own now, and a sid but thats a story for my journal.Keep well, Beckie x

Anonymous said...

Jeannette,
I'm so sorry to hear you have been having trouble with your back.  I hope you will soon be feeling much better.  That's good news about Daniel, and I was really glad to hear it.  I know you must be so relieved.  Please take care of yourself, and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs,
Pat

Anonymous said...

Hi Jeannette,

I'm so sorry to hear you're in so much pain.  I know how depressing it can be to have health issues and not feel well.  That's wonderful news about your grandbaby, although I hate to hear he will have to have more surgery.  I will keep you both in my prayers.  I hope you feel better soon!

Take Care,
~Bilinda~

Anonymous said...

Jeannette I'm so sorry about the loss of your Aunt and the pain you've been in. I'm keeping you and your grandson Daniel in my prayers on the smoke. (Hugs) Indigo

Anonymous said...

Hi, Jeannette....  Just stopping by to say I hope you are feeling better and that you'll be up to a post soon.  Hugs to you, Mike, the pups and Leo.  Also continued prayers for Daniel and your entire family.
Hugs, Kathy

Anonymous said...

Jeannette just popping in to say hello ~ hope you are feeling better ~ and I am so sorry to hear about your Aunt ~ Good news re: Daniel hope every goes well for him ~ will keep him in my prayers ~ Ally x

Anonymous said...

Just to let you know we are thinking of you all xx

Anonymous said...

    Take care of yourself. You and Daniel are in my prayers.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

Anonymous said...

Jeannette

Playing catch up ...... I am so very sorry to hear about the sciatica.... I sympathise with you as i suffer from arthritis in my spine. I hope that you are feeling comfortable very soon and that the pain goes. As you said rest is about all you can do, along with pain killers. We are thinking and praying for both you and Daniel.
Keep your spirits up and i don't mean the bottle type  :o))

Take Care hugs Jayne

Anonymous said...

Jeannette, I am so sorry I haven't been around.  You've had a rough, rough year.  I always keep you and your family in my prayers.  I pray that your pain goes away soon and that you get the much needed peace of mind from your appt.  I didn't realize your little Daniel was still suffering.  I will surely pray for the little guy.  I saw that he is having his surgery in London.  I think that's excellent.  I will keep Becky and Dean in my prayers also as this has to be horrible for them.  I also pray that 2008 will bring a new year and new peace to your whole family.  Love xx Chris