My Hospital Visit

No graphics from me today, dear friends and readers, for a reason which will become obvious.

For the last week I have been so tense about this appointment that it started my neck off, I had stayed off the computer in the hope that this would not happen but it did.  Last night I got no sleep with the pain and felt shattered when I rose this morning but was still determined to go even if I had to go wearing my neck brace.

We were ready to leave the house when Becky pointed out it was chillier than yesterday so I had better wear my jacket.  I went to the bedroom to get it and the next minute I found myself on the floor!  I can only assume I had not tightened the strap on my sensible sandles enough, it did feel a bit loose.  I must have turned my ankle which threw me off balance.  I had no time to try and save myself. I missed smashing my head on the bookcase by a tiny margin. There I was on the floor stunned.  Then the shock set in and I went to pieces.  I did not know whether I had broken my arm, I knew I had taken the full force (and I am not a small woman) on my left elbow - right on the bone itself and also on my left knee.

The family were in a panic, trying to get me off the floor, not knowing how much damage I had done.  Becky said she would phone the hospital and explain and change the appointment.  I told her no, I had had this hanging over my head for too long I wanted it out of the way.

So after drying my tears we set off.  I did the journey with a packet of frozen vegetables pressed against my left elbow and my knee throbbing like hell.

Becky and I went into the clinic as Mike could not find a parking space. He joined us about ten minutes later. They knew something was wrong the minute they looked at me, I must have been white as a sheet with swollen red eyes and a packet of veg pressed to my arm.  Would have been funny in any other circumstances.  What made it worse was this was the arm I always have trouble with when my neck is bad and also the side where I had the breast surgery.

They immediately asked if I needed to go to A and E.  I told them I would see how I was AFTER I had had my appointment as I was not going to miss it.  So they had a word with the nurse and they saw me within fifteen minutes.

As luck would have it I did not have to see Dr. Robinson, she who must be obeyed.  She was in the next room but it was her young female registrar who did the necessary, a lovely Chinese lady.  She examined both armpits and breasts very carefully and said she could not find any abnormalities but, of course, only the mammogram will really give the answer to that one. 

She looked at the bruise on my elbow and asked about my fall.  She asked again if I needed to go to A and E.  I pointed out that I could move my elbow and my arm and also my knee and I thought it was just bad bruising.  She agreed with me. She was very gentle when lifting that arm so as not to cause me more pain.  She ran backwards and forwards between myself and Dr. Robinson passing all information on.

Only one small problem arose.  They have decided to change my tablets now.  I simply cannot cope with Tamoxifen no matter how hard I have tried.  The only way I could manage was to take one tablet about every three days otherwise I just laid and cried all the time and shouted at everyone.  I was honest about it.  They decided therefore it is time for me to change.  Now, this means having a bone density scan because these other tablets can cause osteoporosis and they need to check the state of my bones. 

I did point out that I already have degeneration in the neck, lower back and also to some extent in the knees now so they considered it even more important in case I have to go on a supplement.

So this means that on the 9th June, I not only have to go for my mammogram but also for a bone density scan which they are going to try and arrange for the same day to save me making an extra journey.

I do appreciate that they are trying to help all they can but this has put more pressure on me.  The bone scans are done in the big main hospital X-ray department which is always full to capacity and very hot.  The breast unit on the other hand is at the back of the hospital in a small separate building and cooler, airier and nicer.

So now I need to go one place and strip off and then to another place and strip off all over again.

This is the appointment that really worries me.  It is only the mammogram that will show whether I am cancer free.  That will be bad enough in itself without the bone density scan.  Oh well, it cannot be helped and if it is to my benefit I will do it somehow.

I do so hope and pray the mammogram will be clear after having got this appointment out of the way.  If not, they will call someone immediately, there and then.  If nothing shows they will send it for evaluation I and will have to wait two to three weeks possibly longer before they write and tell me.

At least when the 9th is out of the way we have our new windows to look forward to, they will be going in a few days later.

I do so wish they could have done the mammogram today and I could have known both my that and my examination whether I am in the clear.  The endless waiting is the worst thing and very hard to bear.

You cannot know how painful it has been for me to sit and type this with my elbow which is black and blue.  My knee is throbbing fit to bust but I am putting Arnica cream on the bruises and should feel better after a few days. That is the reason for no graphics and no signature.

I would like to thank you all for your love and support and also thank those who e-mailed me.  I took your thoughts with me despite the pain of the fall.

I hope to be doing a more colourful entry in a couple of days when the bruises are less sore.

Love,

Jeannette