WONDERFUL!

I have some truly wonderful news to share with you today.

I had the results of my mammogram - no abnormalities found, no cancer!!!!  I have my first year all clear. 

I have been on a roller coaster of emotions this morning.  Mike was out and I was cleaning the bedroom when I saw the postman coming up our path.  I could see a small brown envelope in his hands and new immediately what it was.  My heart was in my mouth, my stomach was churning.  I had been told the wait could be up to five weeks and anything coming quite a lot sooner than that usually signified a problem.

I picked up the letter, went and sat on my bed and stared and stared at it. I wanted to open it, I did not want to open it.  Should I wait for Mike to return?  No, I could no do that.  My family have been a tower of strength to me but, in the end, it was an ordeal I had been through, personal to me and if there should be bad news then I needed to work out how to tell Mike and Becky.

I opened it with shaking hands.  I was told it would be a letter.  Inside was a card which usually brings an appointment.  I was saying "please God, please God".  I took the card out, read it and could not take it in.  I read it and re-read it.  Then the dam broke.

Fifteen months of not knowing.  Fifteen months of tension and stress, all the trouble I had with my anti-cancer tablets, I just sobbed and sobbed until I could not cry any more. Great racking sobs of relief and thankfulness. 

Mike came in whilst I was crying and was worried.  At first I could not get the words out.  I managed to tell him I had heard from the hospital, his face fell.  Then I told him, "all clear Mike, all clear".  His face lit up, he threw his arms around me and we hugged and hugged.  He says he is going to buy me a big bunch of flowers and he probably will but I told him that todayI have been given the best gift I could ever have been given.

I count myself truly blessed.  When I think of our J-Land friends who are no longer with us, I realise just how lucky I am.  I wish they were here today to share in this good news, I recall so well the support they gave me.  I shall always remember them with deep affection.

Of course, this is just the first step.  Another four years before I finally get the all-clear and the hospital discharge me.  Four more years of the oncologist, mammograms, the dreaded trips to the hospital.  But, the first hurdle is over.

Now, my dear friends, I want to thank each and every one of you.  I know how many of you prayed for me, buoyed me up, had your churches praying for me.  I remember all the cards you sent me and I have them still and will always keep them.  I remember the e-mails also.

Your friendship and my own faith sustained me through a nightmare and will continue to sustain me. Our God is loving and merciful.  He heard all my prayers, the prayers of my family and all your prayers.  As I said, I am very lucky, very lucky indeed and count myself truly blessed.

A wonderful  surgeon and medical team, a strong and supportive family and all you wonderful people on here.  When I was terrified I received the help I needed.

So today, 20th June, is a very special day for me and the tears I have cried are tears of relief and of joy. 

Now my prayers will be that the cancer never returns and I can enjoy many more years watching our Grandsons grow up.

Once again, thank you all for your support.  You are the best.  J-Land and our wonderful community got me through so many bad times.  God bless each and every one of you.