Believe it or not, the following picture is of yours truly! I came across it the other day whilst looking for something else and it gave me a bit of a jolt.
A jolt because it was like looking at someone else. Who was that young girl? Was it really me? Where did she go? She got lost somewhere along the line and I never noticed.
I look into the mirror today and see a face that bears little resemblance to the happy young teenager of the picture. I see the lines and wrinkes, the sagging jowls. Time has taken its revenge, as time has a habit of doing.
I stare into that carefree face and ask myself, how did she change from that vision of youth, health, hopes and aspirations into an overweight, elderly person with several health conditions. God, could I really have been that slim and fit? How could she have turned from someone who was holidaying in Spain without a care in the world, into someone who is now attempting daily to get outside her front door and finding even that a struggle? Where did it all go wrong? How did it all go wrong? I did not feel it happen, I never noticed the time go by. I never paid heed to the galloping years. When you are young you think it will stay that way forever. When that photo was taken I imagined I was always going to be that happy.
Now, it all seems another life. She is me and yet not me. She is a ghost of me. Something that was and is now no more. A half forgotten story of long ago, in a different world, a different place, a different time.
It makes me sad to think that she has gone forever and yet, strangely happy that she once was.
21 comments:
Ahhh ... Jeanette, you were almost as lovely then as you are now. I think we all look back now and then remembering the excitement of our youth, those carefree years when we had a whole lifetime still ahead of us.
I don't know you well enough yet to be sure how serious the "trying to get outside the front door " thing is for you so I wont comment on that. But ...
I would be willing to bet that if you sat down and made an honest list of 100 things that you are most grateful for you would begin to see how closely you are still connected to that happy go luck girl in that photo.
Yes, you can consider this a personal challenge from me to you. LOL
Happy Tuesday
*** Coy ***
Jeanette-- I feel the same way when I look at pictures of myself. How young and carefree we looked! Sometimes I want to tell the young girls I see to wait and see how your body will change with age and children! It didn't "go wrong" at all - you just grew up. No harm done. We all do it. Growing is etter than the consequences!
That's a wonderful picture Jeannette. Care free days indeed. She's still there inside, just more grown up now. She shaped your personnality, that won't leave you ever. I dare say you didn't even have to try at getting that figure I can see why the boys want to stand close to you, your stunning. xxR
Lovely photo, Jeannette,
Sometimes when I see myself in the mirror...it scares me. I always tell my daughters, that in 20 years they'll be there too. And why is it that 'men' look better as they get older, and we just look older? Not FAIR!
Thanks for sharing this bittersweet memory, with us. XXXDeborah
Thanks for sharing that pic Jeannette - it looks like those were happy days indeed :-)
Definately stunning Jeannette :o)
When I look back on old photo's, I wonder why I thought I was fat, why I thought myself ugly. It's laughable really. If I looked like that now I would parade around with my head held high, instead of trying to hide away.
We all think you're lovely just the way you are my friend, and wish you all the luck in the world with your trips outdoors.
Sara x
What a beautiful young lady, but I can easily tell it`s you...but you are right, don`t we all change, where does time go?....Sandra x
Beautiful! I have these same thoughts. I just saw my graduation picture that my Mom had dragged out of a storage box. It was very difficult to look at. It seems to be something we all have to fac at one time or another. You know they say beauty is only skin deep? Well, that's cause our beauty disappers inside of us! It's still there! You are a beautiful person...ALWAYS! JAE
Beautiful picture of you Jeannette. I know how you feel, I look at myself in the mirror and think the same thing. When I was young I thought I would live forever young and I thought I was invinsible. As the years wore on I have changed so much, and will continue to change. With age comes wisdom and for that I am thankful. You are still a Beautiful person Jeannette. God Bless You My Friend.
Beautiful picture Jeanette! I was just going through old pictures last night for my other journal. You are still that beautiful girlfriend! No matter how much time passes and leaves us with the marks of passing years! ;-)
Hugs,
~Angel
You were gorgeous. I know exactly how you feel. My sister and I are always asking one another *WHAT HAPPENED? * Time does not stop for anybody and we all bear the marks of experience . How we look reveals to the world the stupidity-or wisdom, of our choices. I don't look the same either. I have health problems too but when I look into the mirror I'm glad I can smile and feel comfortable with the new me. Not easy sometimes. Nice entry.
*Barb* http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK
I don't agree that she has gone forever Jeannette - she is still there, inside you, she may seem to be well hidden, but I don't think we ever lose that young person we used to be. My weight hasn't changed, but the body contours have, and I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot wear the clothes I would like to, I have to keep reminding myself that I have moved on. The strange thing is, whenever I look into the mirror, I find my mother looking back! ;-)
Freda
ps I forgot to say wow!!
Freda
The older I get, the more I realize that youth truly is wasted on the young. If only we could be young, healthy and thin again, but with the wisdom that we have now. My God, look out world, here I come. LOL Great pic.
Susan
Time is indeed odd, and I feel glad I didnm't know where I would be at 55, when I was as young and slim and happy looking as you in that picture. I would not want to go back now, even knowing what I now know. I like myself better now, despite and because of it all. Hang in-the candle still burns at least briefly every night. Blessings, Margo
Young you was so beautiful! Wow! And who are the gorgeous looking men with you? Hmm?? *sighs wistfully* I look back at photos of me in high school and I could kick myself. If I knew where I would end up, I would have enjoyed the thin pretty me a LOT more. LOL Oh well. There is a thin pretty me inside here somewhere. Maybe I'll find her again one day. -B
it is only the shell that has altered. Inside you will always be you, kind, caring, thoughtful, funny and a wonderful person. Lots of things get better with age and I think people do. It is a lovely picture to treasure though :).............Jules xxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jules19642001/Itsmylife/
How beautiful you were as a teenager. I look back at my pictures when I was a teenager and realize that I did not know how beautiful I was. I did not know what life was about. I was naive. Amazing. Life changes us, doesn't it. In alot of ways, the Jeannette you see in the mirror now is far mor caring, superior, full-of-life, etc. You have experienced so much more and have the scars to prove it, Jeannette, as well as the heart! Don't forget that, my friend!
You were and are still so BEAUTIFUL
All I can say is two boys for every GIRL LOLOLOLOL
Wonderful pic thanks for sharing
Chelle
Hmmm, I remember when I was in high school I always said to my friends I dont think I'm ever going to live to be super old and all that.. and I dont care if I marry or have kids.. but now.. I want to be married and will be soon and have a child , even one if it ever happens.. Seems like life passes by so fast and as we age.. it's sort of like.. we never think we will get to a certain stage and we do indeed get there and yet the journey wasnt such a long journey as we thought it would be.. I'm not old yet but Im not real young.. and sometimes I sit here and say.. geez.. all these yrs I think I may have left I may not have at all.. or all these yrs I think I have left will come so quick before I know it... and I want time to take its time.. I dont want to miss one sunset.. one holiday or one enjoyed moment of life...you may be older now .. but you are not done living and you have that same girl who you see in that photo inside you... as one old old man once said.. if you keep the child in your heart.. it doesnt know any better that its supposed to let you slow down... :) You are a beautiful person.. and I really love your journal .. this peek into your life . *hugs* Melaney
Wow Jeanette! You just said what I think all the time. I feel the same way when I look at my younger photos. I wish I had realized hwo itme flies and how much we change "back then".
You were ARE such a beautiful person. I can still see her in you when I look at you photo on your journal.
Cheryl
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