I was truly and deeply touched by the comments left after my entry of yesterday. I know it reached many of you and it has helped me because I really see that I am not alone. I send my love and prayers and a big hug to each of you. We often think we are alone when we suffer, that nobody understands and just knowing that there are others going through their own private hell, others who know exactly what it is like, others who care, it does help. It adds fuel to that little spark I spoke about. Life can seem very unjust and we ask ourselves - why me? What have I done to deserve this? There are no answers, we can only play the hand we are dealt and make the very best of it. Tears can release the tension and the fear for a while but they are not the cure. Each of us carries our own private cross. It is hard for our families also, standing by feeling helpless. But, like I said, hope is the one thing we must never lose. It can be hard to keep that spark, it can be hard to keep your faith and yet you find it never really deserts you although sometimes you have to dig very deep to find it. I have cried into my pillow many times but somehow I have always found the strength to carry on. I read your comments with tears in my eyes and I feel for each and every one of you. Let us make that spark glow brighter and let us all walk out of darkness into light together. This is a great community with very special people. God bless you all and thank you for sharing what that entry meant to you. I feel privileged that you did so.
Here is the biggest reason now why I am determined, somehow, to fight and defeat my demons and return to better health in every way. It might be a long struggle but, if it is possible, I will do it. With God's love and help I will do it. So, I leave you today with a smile from a very special little person who deserves a Grandmother that can smile again, that can venture outside again, a Grandmother who will play with him, teach him and make him smile.
Taken at 12 weeks old, four days ago.
So, dear friends, I know you will pray for me that the doctors will find a cause for my problems and an answer. I shall be praying for you. Let us carry the torch together and remember there is forever hope in the prison of despair.
9 comments:
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Beautiful entry Jeannette, And a beautiful picture of Nathan. Remember My Dear Friend, If you ever need me, I am here for you. God Bless You My Friend
How right you are that it helps to have people understand. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with depression that I found out that there is a long history of depression in my family. From great grandparents to cousins and aunts, even my parents to some degree. It did help to know that it wasn't just me. What a beautiful little Nathan smile, nothing like the smile and laughter of a child to brighten your day is there. Biggest bestest hugs to you Jeannette :)
Sara x
What a beautiful grandson you have. I hope you manage to find the cause to your problems and feel able to smile and laugh with him again. My thoughts are with you.
OH MY that is the best picture ever!!!!!!!
Iam glad that you reached out!!!!!!!! whenever you need a friend just call upon us:) we love you :)
did you email yourself that poem LOL
I love ya Jeanette
Chelle
You write so well, and i feel as if you are blowing on the spark to keep it glowing for all of us. Of course, a face like Nathan's would brighten anyone's day! Blessings, Margo
I do believe he's got your mischievous twinkle in his eyes, don't you? Oh my you two are going to have marvelous times together. So much life for you both to revel in. I have read countless journal entries recounting favorite memories of time spent with gram. You and this lad have a whole treasure chest of memories to fill. ENJOY!
GOD BLESS THIS BEAUTIFUL CHILD,,, I REALLY LIKE YOUR JOURNAL,,, AND GRANDMA,,, THESE LITTLES GUYS MAKE OUR LIVE'S MUCH BETTER,,, GOOD WISHES AND HEALTH MY FRIEND,,, Marie
What a precious baby :) Let him continue to be your motivation :)
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