Jokes

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here  that he was 95 when he died!"

Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"

"What was his name?" asks Paddy.

Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims,

"Miles, from Dublin."  

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Two leprechauns went to the convent and begged an audience with the Mother Superior.

"Well, how can I help you little people?" asked Mother Superior.

The larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked  "Oh Mother Superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns here at the convent?"

"No," says Mother Superior, "I don't have any midget nuns here at the convent"

"All right then, Mother Superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns in all of Ireland then?"

"No, No," replied Mother Superior, "I don't know of any nuns who are also midgets in all of Ireland at all."

"Well then mother superior, in all of Nundom, in the whole world of all the nuns, would you be knowing then, of any midget nuns?'

"No, I would not, there are no midget nuns in the whole of the world!" replied Mother Superior,  "and would you please be telling  me what this is all about!!?"

The asking leprechaun turned sadly to the stupid leprechaun and said

"See, its as I told you all along -  you've been dating a Penguin"  

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