Jokes

Oh how I wish the above picture was of here!  We have still not had one drop of rain although they keep on forecasting it. 

It has all been very quiet here so there is nothing really to write about.  No photos of the garden because it is all so parched and looking forlorn.

So I thought I would post a couple of jokes I have "borrowed" from a site I belong to.

*Please note that these jokes are in no way intended to offend anyone.  Particularly the last joke. I do not want to upset our American friends in any way.  The jokes are only intended to raise a smile in a sad world.

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple  of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand......and try saying things like 'I see', 'yes', 'go on', and 'I understand'."

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying "No sh ?.... what happened next?"

 

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The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of a thunderstorm and detect the  smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cartons you hear cows mooing and smell the scent of fresh butter fat.

When you approach the egg boxes, you hear hens cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.

..... I'm afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle.

 

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Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I re-attached them, and 8 months later he performed a  private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I re-attached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train travelling 80 miles an hour.  Almost total obliteration. All I had left to work with was the horse's arse and a cowboy hat.

Now he's president of the United States."

 

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Wishing you all a great week!