After Laugher Comes The Tears

Christmas was filled with laugher. This afternoon and evening came the tears. 

Last month I shared with you the joyous news that my dear friend had become a Grandmother after many years of hoping and waiting.  I posted a picture of little Harry Michael.  My friend was so elated. Her joy knew no bounds and I was truly happy for her because I knew how much it meant to her.

I had a telephone call late this afternoon.  My friend died this morning. Christine this is for you.

Your player name and signature.

You and I never met, not in person.  We met first on Avapit and on Trivia where we had such laughs.  Then we joined another site - Oasis  - where we took part in many competitions each trying to outdo each other in the most friendly rivalry.  We progressed to swapping telephone numbers and spent hours on the phone chatting. We shared many of the same health problems and you knew how down I get at times.  You were always there to support me, to encourage me.  Christmas and Birthday cards were exchanged. I came to know your  lovely husband Eric.

You were the cyber Fairy Godmother to Nathan and Daniel. You knitted for Nathan.  You delighted in watching them grow.  You were there for me when my brother died and I was there for you when a family member of yours passed away.

Christine (Lily was your player name) you were one of the most genuine people I have ever known. There was no hidden agenda with you. You were exactly as you seemed.  I could tell you anything with no fear of betrayal or things being passed on.  You accepted people happy or sad, in good health or unwell, good mood or bad.  You gave your friendship and your love one hundred per cent and unconditionally.  I loved your Yorkshire accent and your tales of your early life.  I valued your advice.

We knew each other for almost ten years. We always vowed we would meet one day.  You called me sister and I felt exactly the same way about you.  On Christmas Eve we talked on the phone as usual.  You sounded very tired atfirst but then perked up and seemed your usual self by the end of our chat.  You told me that when you were feeling truly better I would get a surprise.  I would get a phone call out of the blue saying "put the kettle on love, I am in the car around the corner".  It was our long time dream to meet each other.  That can never be now.

My dear friend, my eyes are swollen from crying. I still cannot really take it in.  Every day when I logged on there would be a message or an email from you.  I cannot believe that will never happen again.  When I was worried about anything you were the first person outside the family that I turned to.  I have been reading the tributes to you on the sites I mentioned above.  People are so shocked, so saddened.  I see just how many people were your friends, just how many had wonderful words to write about you.  You touched so many lives and that legacy will live on.  What a wonderful thing to leave behind, the love of so many people.

I am only glad for you that you passed quickly in the arms of your beloved Eric.  61 is no age really.  I am so sorry you only got five weeks with little Harry yet I am happy that you lived long enough to see him and hold him in your arms and that you shared one precious Christmas together.  You will live on in him.  If he grows up to be like you, he will be a truly special man.

My thoughts are with Eric and your two daughters and sons-in-law and your sister.

Christine, you read every posting I did on this journal.  Although you could never post a comment you always emailed me about each entry and quite often left a message in my guestbook.  I never thought I would have to do a posting about losing you.  Another Christmas passing to add to all the others I have had.  Christmas has become such a sad time.

You will remain in my heart always. Your kindness, your intelligence,  your common sense, your caring will always be with me.  I will never forget you.  Thank you for being you. Thank you for being my friend. I will miss you "fairy" more than you will ever know. Rest in peace my dear friend.  I like to think that you are really now"just around the corner" and that we will meet in a better place and give each other the huge hug we always vowed. We always joked that Mike and Eric would not be able to get a word in.

I truly came to love you and so did Mike.  You were a very special lady.  God grant you rest.  I am sure you are up in heaven now chatting away with other internet friends we lost.  I like to think you will watch over us all.

Goodnight and goodbye my dear.  The world is a much sadder place tonight without you.

With love from your "sister" , your friend, your team player, your friendly opponent.  I will try and remember the laughter after the tears have dried.  I will miss you so much.

Love always

Jeannette (neon)