Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Always In My Heart

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Today is the 6th anniversary.  I will never forget that terrible day when a knock came on our door to inform us that you had left us so suddenly, so unexpectedly, giving us no time to say goodbye.  Years pass but memories do not dim.

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Buddy (Keith)

This is how I will always remember you.  You were nineteen when this photograph was taken, you had just met the girl of your dreams, the person you would spend the rest of your life with.  You were always so full of life, so active, so kind and gentle.  A friend to everyone, so liked and loved by those that knew you.

I will never forget all the glorious afternoons with you, rowing on the lake in Valentine's park, fishing for Sticklebacks, stopping off at the sweet shop.  All the times you took me to the pictures, the times we went to the fair and spent hours on the dodgems.  The time I burnt my hand badly and you were the one who cared for me until Mum came home. Seeing you in the Scottish play where you played Banquo's ghost.

When I was so desperately ill at the age of four with Whooping Cough, not expected to live.  You spent hours sitting with me and reading to me.  I still have a book you bought me.  I look at it often and the inscription that you wrote.  I will never forget your humour, the wonderful paintings that you did or the poetry that you penned.

Destiny was to separate us by thousands of miles but I treasured those trips that you made home to see us.  I eagerly awaited the long letters that you wrote me.

Then came that dreadful day. Etched on my mind forever. I could not take it in.  I still find it hard to take in at times.

Buddy, time has moved on.  You now have grandchildren that you never saw.  I now have grandchildren that you never saw.  Life has dealt me a terrible blow this year.  I know you would have been there for me, supporting me, keeping my spirits up, worrying about me. 

The tree we planted in your memory has grown big and strong and the plaque we placed underneath it remains for all to see.  This year I cannot get to the cemetery to lay flowers for you, so I have given you a red rose on here.

Thank you for being the best brother in the world especially when I was so young and you were my protector.  You were my guardian against the bad things in life.  Only you and I know what I mean by this.

It broke my heart the day you left and sailed away as Mum and I stood sobbing on the dockside, but it broke my heart even more the day that knock came at our door.

I have your funeral service on tape.  I could only bear to listen to it once.

It is hard to believe it is six years already, it still seems so fresh.  Part of me went with you that day. My health suffered greatly after that probably due to the shock and most of all the fact that there was no time for goodbyes or to tell you how much I loved you.

I am glad you went quickly and suddenly with no pain.  The pain was left for the rest of us to suffer.  The pain lingers but the wonderful memories endure.

Buddy, I miss you.  I will always miss you. God bless you my dear Brother.

Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break,
but all in vain.
To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of one's heart.
The years may wipe out many things

But some they wipe out never.
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together.
~ Author Unknown
 
What the heart has once known,it shall never forget. ~Author unknown
 
Your loving sister,
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50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful tribute Jeanette..made me weep...
lyn


Anonymous said...

Wonderful tribute to a loving brother. I know he's smiling down at you today. {{ }}
God bless,
Sugar

Anonymous said...

Jeanette, what a moving entry, I know he'd be proud of you and the way you've got through your latest battle. Denise
x

Anonymous said...

My sympathies and love to you today.  You have made a wonder tribute to your brother.  'On Ya' - ma

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful tribute to your brother...many hugs and love,
Joyce

Anonymous said...

Jeannette this is beautiful.  Memories are strong, and that helps.  Sending you hugs and prayers.
love ya
d

Anonymous said...

I read this through my tears ,I remember from other years ,you have done tributes to Buddy ,and it has come over how much you miss him ,this year especially  must have been extremly hard ,,,love Jan xx

Anonymous said...

Jeannette what a wonderful tribute to your brother:)

Deb

Anonymous said...

Lovely tribute to your brother Jeannette.These times are not easy for anyone.Take Care God Bless KATH
astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

Anonymous said...

This wonderful tribute tells me that your darling brother is and always wil be close beside you as long a you live.
May you always remember him with a smile.   Jeanie  

Anonymous said...

Very moving tribute.  God Bless you, and RIP Buddy!
~~Kath~~

Anonymous said...

Losing a loved one doesn't get easier does it?  You truly loved your brother. Eileenx

Anonymous said...

Dear Jeannette, That was a wonderful tribute to your much loved brother. I can tell just how much he meant you.

Love Sandra xxxx

Anonymous said...

what a wonderful tribut and you realy lay it out how special he is

Anonymous said...

A great tribute to a great brother, Jeannette.
Wishing you strength at this difficult time.
Rest in peace, Buddy.

Anonymous said...

Jeannette....what a beautiful tribute to your brother.
Lisa

Anonymous said...

jeanette that was a beautiful tribute to your brother.
emily

Anonymous said...

You know...just looking at his picture...into those eyes of his...I see the kind soul that he was...I am so sorry that you lost him...It seems like God always takes the best doesn't it? Please know that I feel your pain and though we may be miles apart..I am there with you in spirit.
love,
carlene

Anonymous said...

Such a beautiful entry Jeannette, his gentle personnality comes through there and I can see how much he's missed.  With all you've had to cope with this year, he'd be proud of his Sister. Rache

Anonymous said...

So sorry for the loss of your dear brother Jen, sending love and hugs, plus sincere thoughts offered up in prayer for him who you loved so deeply. It was very touching to read of his life and his death, but more touching to hear of your loss and how much you love and miss him!!

                                         love, hugs and blessings,    Anne

Anonymous said...

What a way to say "I love You"! Very touching entry. Take care of you and yours!
Katie
http://journals.aol.com/ktkamanski/AlwaysBelieve/

Anonymous said...

What a lovely tribute to your brother, dearheart!  ((((((((((hugs))))))))))
loving you
karyl

Anonymous said...

Jeanette, love never dies. Our time here is very short in the scheme of things, but I firmly believe that we will all see our loved ones again. How wonderful your relationship with Buddy was, he helped you grow into the wonderful person that you are.  This was a wonderful tribute for him. Love, Sandi (finally got dsl back)

Anonymous said...

What a lovely tribute to your brother. I know he's reading it from Heaven.
Hugs and love,
Pam

Anonymous said...

This is a very moving and loving tribute to your brother Buddy .He would be very proud of how you have coped with every thing this year Jeannette.......Love Jeanxx

Anonymous said...

What a very nice tribute to your brother.
Lori

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful tribute to your brother Buddy! The pain of the loss is ALWAYS
there-I know-we learn to live with it. ~Diane~

Anonymous said...

Jeanette, Thank you for sharing those lovely memories of your dear Brother. It is sure true that Love never ends. unfortunately the pain never seem to end either. But one day...one day....God Bless Love Sybil xx

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful person!!!  So glad you shared this with us.  -  Barbara

Anonymous said...

Oh.... I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend, your brother.  He is still with you... hand on your shoulder.  He was strength thru the cancer treatments... that little voice urging you on...

be well,
Dawn

Anonymous said...

How beautiful....he was very fortunate to have you as his sister.  I'm glad you have such wonderful memories.
Love,
Nancy

Anonymous said...

Dear Jeannette, I know this is a sad day for you and that you are missing your dear brother.  A little poem that has always comforted me is below.  I hope it brings you comfort too.  Hugs, Terry x

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
whatever we were to each other
that we still are
call me by my old familiar name
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used
put no difference in your tone
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together
pray smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
without the trace of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
it is the same as it ever was
there is unbroken continuity
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner
All is well

Anonymous said...

Jeanette, your words really touched my heart today about your brother that you loved and lossed 6 years ago.  Today is the day I lossed my Sis Elaine and young Nephew Kenny thanks to a Doctor driving drunk in Pennsylvania, (USA), so I truly understand and feel your loss and pain...I always light a candle on days of rememberance for all my loved ones who have passed, helps me, might help you also dear.  Time does help ease the pain some, but we never forget do we and we wouldn't want too, we loved them so.  You are in my heart dear....Arlene (AJ)

Anonymous said...

A wonderful tribute Jeannette, I feel for you today.  Thank you for giving us an insight into the special relationship you had with your brother.

Love, Pat

Anonymous said...

A wonderful tribute to what sounds like a wonderful, dear brother.  I can't imagine the pain...my brother is 8 years younger than me, but since we've been adults..he's been my protector, too.  He was with me thru a horrible divorce in 1981 and willing to say a prayer and/or lend a hand whenever I needed his support.  You were blessed (as I am) to have a wonderful brother.  Linda in hot, hot, hot Washington state  

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful love you shared with such a fine man!  God's blessings on you today, of comfort and peace Jeannett, and gentle hugs!

Anonymous said...

I'm so so sorry...  Linda

Anonymous said...

Gentle hugs....
Linda...

Anonymous said...

what a fine young man he was, I can see it in his eyes.
I am sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about your loss.  Your tribute to your brother is so touching and loving.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I share your pain having lost a brother suddenly, too.  It's so difficult to get over and I suppose we never really do.  We just hold on to their memories and carry them inside our hearts in the most positive way we can and that honors their life here on earth.
My love and prayers.
Kathy

Anonymous said...

Jeannette thankyou for sharing such wonderful memories of your beloved brother ~ Ally x

Anonymous said...

What a loving tribute to your brother.  It reminded me of how much I miss my sister and she's been gone for 39 years, it really never stops hurting, you just go
on with your life.  Hope everything is getting easier for you and that the weather has perked up.   God bless, Joni

Anonymous said...

what a loving and sweet tribute to a dear brother.  i have no siblings, but feel your pain as you remember him.  so young, with so much life to live.  thanks for sharing that with us all, jeannette.

blessings,

regina

Anonymous said...

Hello Jeannette. . sorry I havent been for a while but I have been reading. . love the video of Nathan and his birthday cake. . .it was lovely to see the little boys again and loved Becky singing. . shes such a good Mum to her boys.What a lovely tribute to your brother. . .may eternal light shine upon him.Hope you are well Jeannette

Anonymous said...

So sorry about your loss.  And what a special and wonderful brother.

Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry you lost your brother 6 years ago. He looks very handsome in the picture and what a beautiful smile he has. God bless you and his family. ((((((hugs)))))))
Love ya,
Cindy xoxo

Anonymous said...

Lovely entry Jeanette, a dear Brother lost, but will always be found in your heart. Kathie.

Anonymous said...

A lovely tribute to your very special brother Jeannette. Time goes so quickly, my sister died 30yrs ago this year, it seems like yesterday when we heard the news. Jeannette xx  

Anonymous said...

Im sure hes been with you every step of the way...Beckiexx

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful tribute Jeannette.

I am sure he has been looking down on you
hugs Jayne