Spring Has Sprung

These are my Mother's Day flowers from Becky, Dean, Nathan and Daniel.  They are so beautiful and still going strong.

Today is the same as yesterday, bright sunshine and perhaps Spring has sprung or perhaps not as they say it will turn cold again later in the week.

I am progressing.  Still in a lot of discomfort with the underarm, I guess that is the nerves and muscles, some parts are still numb.  Time will take care of that.  The nurse comes in tomorrow and I should be signed off then as the wounds no longer need any dressings.  I am getting scared as next Monday draws closer because that is when I get the full laboratory results and naturally I am hoping they will be the best possible in regards to the continuing treatment.

I was sad yesterday.  You know how much I love my garden.  This is the time when I would be out there, weeding, pruning, digging over ground.  Of course I am not allowed to do any of these things.  Mike, bless him, with all the other things he has to do these days said he would do it for me.  It was nice to see the weeds disappear and the grass get its first mow of the year but I so wanted to be doing it myself, I so love getting my hands in the soil.  It feels so spiritual when I am working in the garden.   I could not even sit out in the sun because it might not be a good idea at this particular time.  I did sit with the back door open watching Mike work and the most beautiful birdsong was filling the air.  I could not see the bird so I did not know which variety it was, but it was absolutely stunning.

I am getting quite bored being able to do so little, even the computer hurts after a short time because when you type you move your arm.  Still, I am not complaining. I am making progress and that is the main thing.

I told you I made two lovely friends whilst in hospital.  One of them phoned me up on Sunday and the other is in e-mail contact with me.  She also had breast surgery but before me.  Unfortunately she lost her breast and goes back to the clinic this Friday.  She is scared as well.  She knows in her case it is chemo and she has three very young children to look after.  How nice it is though to meet people in those circumstances and be able to stick together.  Turns out she only lives a couple of miles from me.

I shall be seeing Nathan and Daniel for the first time tomorrow and am so looking forward to that.  This afternoon I have a friend coming to visit.  Visitors are rare at our house.  I have known her for well over thirty years, our daughters grew up together and we used to be neighbours.  She was shocked when she heard the news of course.  She has a wonderful sense of humour and she always has me in gales of laughter so that is bound to do me good.

My "brother" and I have put that in inverted commas for good reason has not even bothered to wish me luck either before surgery or since.  When I tell you he lives fifty yards from me in the same road and Mike told him almost as soon as we knew............speaks for itself.  No note through the door, no good luck card, total silence. The door is now closed to him for good. I could write a book about what we have been through with him and his wife over many years but they are not worth the time and trouble.  I have had more love, support and understanding from my friends here in J-Land and my cousin and a couple of friends going back to schooldays.  It did hurt me though, at first, as he is my last living full-blood relative.  I was hurt, then angry but now I am putting him out of my life for good and all and concentrating on getting well and my own family and my true friends, my J-Land family.

Well, starting to hurt a bit now so I am going to go and have my lunch and get ready to see my friend this afternoon.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all your support which I know will be ongoing.  Reading your messages has brought me great comfort.

I do ask you all to pray for Sugar (A Little Bit Of Sugar) link on my sidebar, who is undergoing her cancer surgery today.  Unlike me, she does not have a very supportive family.  She is a friend to many in J-Land and I know you will wish her well.

I promise to get back to commenting on your journals as soon as I can but in the circumstances, I know you will understand.  God bless you all.

Love