Flashback

This morning the sun is shining and the sky is blue.  They say it is going to be the warmest October day for 117 years.

I had a flashback last night, a memory that has come to me so very often down the years.  I do not sleep well and I arose to get a glass of milk.  As I sat ont the bed drinking it, I was suddenly transported back to childhood and to the kitchen of my old home.  I see it all so clearly.  There were other people present that day, but in my memory I do not see them, there is only me.  Just one memory of one day so very long ago.  There was nothing special about that day, it was not my birthday, it was not Christmas.  I do not even remember school or other things I might have done on that occasion.  It was a rainy day at the end of October.  I had walked a long way to reach our library to get some reading material.  I could only have been around eight or nine because I had recently been promoted up to the juvenile section where there was much more choice.  I walked home through the wind and the rain.  I remember nothing of getting home and eating a meal or any conversation I might have had with the family.  This memory is of me, sitting in front of our kitchen fire (we lived in the kitchen) snuggled in a comfortable armchair. 

I remember I was wearing pale blue pyjamas with tiny pink roses on them and a royal blue dressing gown. I even remember the book I was reading, yes, after all these years.  It was called "The Perilous Descent" and was about two pilots during the second world war who bailed out of their plane, somehow fell through a hole in the earth and into another world. The book detailed all their adventures before they were able to escape back into our world. Much more of a boys book really but then I always did like adventure stories.

Someone handed me a cup of cocoa.  It was in my special mug.  The mug was made, I believe, by the Ovaltine company.  A fairly tall plastic cream-coloured mug with a smiling face on it, perhaps meant to be the man in the moon.  It had a hat which was really a cover to keep the drink warm and the hat was in pale blue with a red bobble on the end of it.  This lid also doubled as a saucer to stand the mug on.  I remember having the book on my knee, the cocoa in my hand, staring into the fire. The rain was heavy outside, the wind was howling but I had never felt so happy and content in my life.

So, nothing really remarkable.  In the days like that, before the television entered our lives, this was a scene that could have been repeated in any household across the country, across the UK.  Yet, it comes back to me again and again, it has followed me down the years, staying as sharp and clear as it was in that very moment.

Last night, there it was again.  I drank my milk and settled back down to try and sleep.  I turned the question over and over in my mind. I have had many experiences during my lifetime, some very traumatic, some very sad , some very moving and others very happy.  Why is it then that this particular memory comes back over and over, so strongly, so sharply?  Then, it came to me and I am pretty sure now that I have found the answer.  It was the very first moment in my life that I remember feeling truly happy, truly at peace, truly safe. Before that I only remember feeling fearful and anxious, after that time -  the same.  But for that one shining moment, I knew happiness, I was at peace with myself and with the world.  My first impression of happiness was so strong that it lives on and comes to visit me frequently in memory.  For an instant I am that little girl again, savouring the warmth, the comfort, the peace.  I hope I shall always continue to remember that magical moment because it still gives me comfort, it still makes me feel safe.

Do you have a memory so vivid that it has stayed with you down the years?  If so, perhaps you would like to share it with us on your journal or mention it in comments.

Now on to other things.  My ever-lovin' - him indoors - was out with the camera again yesterday.  Referring to his trusty book on places to go issued by our library, he found a little place we knew nothing of and not too far from us.  A little place that houses all sorts of animals, birds and butterflies.  He asked me if I minded him going because he does not liketo leave me alone for hours on end.  I was happy to agree, I know howmuch photography means to him and everybody needs a hobby.    So here are some photographs he took.  I will  be posting more in my next entry.

This first one is an albino Wallaby

Next comes a cheeky Chipmunk

 

Finally,  two very slow-moving and creaky tortoises - just like him and me these days.

 

Have a good day everybody.