Monday, July 4, 2005

Monday Mirth

 

 

I would like to thank all of you for your comments yesterday.  It seems we are one hundred percent agreed then that journals are not boring.  No doubt Joe would say that is to be expected.  After all, we are all journallers aren't we?  We are going to defend ourselves.  I agree with what many of you said viz a viz the time we give to journals.  There are lots more things we could be doing on the internet, games, chat-rooms, research.  Why would we visit journals each and every day if we were bored. I have not only found great journals, I have found great people.  Can you imagine our journal community magnified a billion times.  If all people could care for each other as we do, if they could interact with each other as we do, then the world would be a much better place!

Now for some grave humour:-

One of my hobbies over the years has been reading headstones. A macabre hobby? I do not think so. Headstones of bygone times hold such a wealth of information about the person. You can learn what occupation they followed , how many wives/husbands/children they had, even whether they were liked in their community. Some are witty, some are sad, some are cruel. Also the headstones are much fancier, some have ropes, skulls and crossbones, tools of the trade not to mention angels and cherubs.

Today everything is regulated, headstones all have to be the same size and you are not allowed to put much more than the name, dates and a couple of lines in memoriam. So, I am very glad that there are people who go around writing these inscriptions down so that they are not lost to us or future generations.

Here are a few amusing ones:-

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord he sent them manna,

Old Clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

England c.1770

 

Here lies the body of Joan Carthew

Born at St. Columb, died at St. Crew.

Children she had five,

Three are dead & two are alive.

Those that are dead choosing rather

To die with their mother than live with their father.

England c.1780

 

Solomon Pease

 

Under the sod and under the trees

Lies the body of Solomon Pease.

He is not here, there’s only the pod:

Pease shelled out and went to God.

Barre, Vermont - 1880

 

DOROTHY CECIL

Unmarried as yet.

Wimbledon, England c.1900

 

Here I lie, no wonder I'm dead

For a broad wheeled wagon

Went over my head.

Grim death took me

Without a warning

I was well at night

And dead in the morning.

15 March 1797

Sevenoaks, England.

 

And finally, a joke

A woman took a very limp duck to see the vet.  The vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.  "I'm sorry, he said gently, shaking his head, "but your duck has passed away."

"How can you be sure?" the woman protested  "I mean you haven't even done any tests.  I want tests done."

The vet rolled his eyes, left the room and returned with a Labrador retriever.  The dog put his front paws up on the examination table and sniffed the duck.  He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet took out the dog and returned with a cat.  The cap leapt onto the table  and sniffed the duck.  She then meowed softly and shook her head.

"I am sorry" the vet said "but your duck is most definitely dead."  He then turned to his computer, hit the keys and produced his bill.

"£500!" the woman yelled. "£500 to tell me that my duck is dead?!"

"Well," the vet shrugged, "if you had taken my word for it the first place, the bill would have only been £50 but you insisted on the lab report and the cat scan."

 

If you enjoyed the epitaphs, I have others I can share with you another time. These were collected by E.R. Shushan.

*Postcript.  If you would like to read an excellent entry about Live8 by a young lady who was actually there then please visit

Live8: A Teen's Eye View

It is well worth the read. Please note that this is a blog you have to read backwards, there are several entries covering different bands and personalities. All fascinating. Hope you enjoy the read as much as I have.  Thank you friends.

 

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lol at the joke!
The epitaphs are certainly different!
I liked them, especially the one for Solomon Pease.
I'd like to see more if you fancy posting them sometime :o)
Sara   x

Anonymous said...

HA! Love the epitaphs..the joke really cheered me up and I love Jerry!

Su
x

Anonymous said...

Pretty grapic today Jeannette. Those headstone inscriptions were very interesting. I see you really did get a good turnout on you opinion poll yesterday. Some of the comments were very interesting and no I didn't get bored reading them LOL. Have a nice day. Helen

Anonymous said...

I love the epitaphs Jeannette, please post some more as they really made me laugh, especially Dorothy Cecil, I wonder has she found a husband yet?!  Love the joke lol!  :-)

Sandra xxxx

Anonymous said...

Great epitaphs, love the humour.
Sylvia x

Anonymous said...

Thanks Jeannette, I just saw this in Stuart's journal.  Had a quick peek, am going back for a proper read as soon as the kettle boils and I have a cup of tea!
Sara   x

Anonymous said...

LOL! Enjoyed the epitaphs, and joke. I like your sense of humor.
Here is another epitaph for you... Bill Blake....Hanged by mistake!
Enjoy your day.         ~Deborah

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed the epitaphs.  The joke was really a good one.  Have a great day Jeannette.
-mark-

Anonymous said...

Those epitahs are funny - I look forward to reading some more :-)  Love the graphic, it's very pretty!!  The joke at the end was good too.  Thanks Jeannette!

Anonymous said...

I love graveyards too.My mother always took us for a walk to the cemetary in the sixties and still today I love to walk round them,my favourite is the one in Haworth.You have brought such a memory back for me.I remember my mother telling me about a headstone she said she saw when I was little and it cant possibly be true but she said it said "Remember friend as you pass by
                                                    As you are now so once was I
                                                    As I am now so you shall be
                                                    So be prepared and follow me."
My mother told me that someone had wrote underneath that verse.
                                                     "To follow you Im quite content
                                                       But Im dammed if I know which way you
                                                       went!
Thank you for bringing back a memory of something from so long ago!


Anonymous said...

Would love to come across an epitaph like that. A lot of the ones locally have been declared unsafe and removed, such a shame. I love going round cemetrys

Anonymous said...

Oh Jeanette thank you for the laugh.  Can you imagine if we all had a sense of humor about death.  If we could just celebrate a persons passing from the earth plane to the promised land, or better still to that which she so dreamed of having, doing or being someday.  Cute, cute headstone tributes.  Especially love the Lab reports and Cat scans.  I too agree that journals are not boring.

Marlene-PurelyPoetry

Anonymous said...

I saw a funny headstone in Boot Hill graveyard near Tombstone Arizona, it read
   
     Here lies George Johnson, hanged by mistake. 1882.
     He was right and we was wrong
     but we strung him up
     and now he's gone.

Anonymous said...

I love creative grave markers! There are some really great ones in Tombstone Arizona.

Anonymous said...

That was all too funny !  Thanks I need a laugh to end the day !  'On Ya'  - ma

Anonymous said...

Good evening...I might be a little out of sorts tonight but I agree that journals are not boring. I have great people such as yourself in journal land and have come to enjoy reading your journal and the journals of others. I don't agree with Jon at all about blogs being boring. He has not read the great writing of such talented writers such as yourself Jeannette.

I enjoyed the epitaphs they were amusing. I would like to read more of course. Thanks for your journal...

Anonymous said...

Lab report and cat scan... Too funny!
I love reading headstones too. Especially the older ones from the 1800's.
Have a great rest of the week!
Linda