Asking for your good wishes

I do not talk about my health problems much on my journal which I normally use to turn outwards from myself.  However, I am asking for all your good wishes and prayers for the coming week.

My anxiety and panic attacks have got much worse over the last few weeks and I have also been very very depressed usually crying every day at some time or another but that has not been the only problem.  I have been suffering with other symptoms as well.  A very sore tip to my tongue as though it is dipped in acid, I have come out in blood spots over my abdomen and on my legs and a few on my arms, gets attacks of itching all over that nothing stops and they can last hours and feeling very very tired.

With lots of prayer and support I made it to the doctors this morning and saw the senior partner.  He was very kind indeed and has ordered ten different blood tests including one for pernicious anaemia.  I have an appointment at the blood clinic early next Monday morning.  I have to fast from the night before and I am not allowed to take any medication, including my diabetic medication, my blood pressure medication or a tranquiliser so this is going to be very hard for me as I know it will make me feel rough and with my anxiety levels so high, it is going to make even getting there difficult.

Then, of course, I have the wait for the results to come back. I know I shall be jumping every time the telephone rings.  Yes, it could be nothing, it could be something minor but I am already worried because if the surgery ask me to return (meaning that something has been found) the kindly doctor I saw this morning will be away on holiday which leaves me to see either a doctor I have no faith or trust in whatsoever and who is a real panic merchant or to see a locum that has never clapped eyes on me before.

So although I am pleased and proud that I was able to get to the surgery this morning, the pressure is on for at least the next week and maybe longer. This will not help to decrease my anxiety levels.  My faith in God is keeping me as strong as I can be at the moment and I know that I am in His hands.

The doctor and I also discussed that maybe it was now time to think of a different medication for my anxiety and I agreed. In the past I have always refused because in the past I have eventually always managed to control it myself and because I am already on several different medications.  However, this morning I agreed. I owe it to my family, I owe it to myself.  None of this can be put in motion however until the blood tests results are back.

So, dear readers, I ask you to send me your prayers, your love and good wishes not only today but for the days ahead.  I certainly need them.  There are many of you out there who will know what I mean when I say that I am more than a little scared right now.

Tomorrow is my Birthday.  Hard to believe another year has rolled around. Hard to believe I shall be 62.  In my head I still feel twenty.  So maybe I will do a posting or maybe not.  I shall be spending it with the family and I am determined to make it as happy a day as possible in the circumstances.

I know that I can count on you for support.  Believe me, prayer does work, it has worked in my life, it worked for me this very morning.  As the Lord said "Ask and ye shall receive".  I asked for His help and I did receive it. So, please pray for me that all will be well and everything will work out.